Change is hardest when you're 6, I think

Obviously I have a lot of catching up to do, and I'll do one of those updatey posts I hope. But today I need to write down what's been happening with Helaman. Because it was such a hard thing; because I don't want to forget what I've learned; and most of all because I'm grateful for Divine Intervention.

The move to Folsom was a little rough for my guys, but in May we moved again when we closed on a house we bought here in Yuba City. And then it got really rough. The boys missed their friends from both places, and were having a rough time making friends with new ones here. Helaman did a bunch of fun classes through the rec department that he loved, including lego and art classes. But still didn't make any friends. I thought it would get better when school started, but it didn't.

By the time school finally began Helaman was in a funk. He was fine at home with us, but hated going to church, and felt really lonely. And still stressed from so much changed in such a short amount of time. Then once he got to school he was okay for the first couple weeks, but as routine settled in, he got more and more bored. There wasn't anything they were learning in first grade that he didn't already know. The slow pace of teaching other kids things that were already clear to him was really getting to him, and he started acting out. I think to entertain himself. He was never doing anything really bad, just distracting and crazy.

One day I got a call from his teacher after school. They just didn't know what to do with him. He wasn't being "send to the principal's office" bad, but nothing seemed to be working. He'd stop whatever distracting thing he was doing when you asked him to, but there was always something else coming. (It reminded me of Please Don't Eat the Daisies). The next day I got a call from the Vice Principal. Helaman had been in his office 3 times already that day. By the time I went to pick him it up it was 6 times in one day!

I have to pause here to say the school was great. When I was talking to teachers and administrators through all of this, no one was ever angry, and everyone was just trying to figure out how to best help Helaman.

Okay, so back to my story. After talking to Mr. Mogenheimer (the VP) after school that day with me, Helaman came home and spent the afternoon picking up buckets of rocks in the back yard and went straight to bed after homework and dinner. I didn't yell at him, but I figured he had to know that this wasn't okay in our family. And then I started fasting. I felt so overwhelmed, and confused, and lost. I had no idea what to do next.

On the way to school the next morning, I felt like I needed to tell Helaman it was a new day, and we could pretend yesterday just didn't happen and start all over. It was a new beginning. His face lit up at the idea, he looked like such a burden had been lifted. I have to say I know that feeling!

The VP was in his classroom observing the next two days. The first day after the terrible horrible no good very bad day he was better but still jittery. I went to meet with Mr. M. before school got out that day to talk about what he had seen and what we do from here. And as I talked to him, not because of anything he said, and not from my own genius, I suddenly knew what we had to do.

When school was out I went to talk to Mrs. Torres. We decided that instead of trying to make Helaman slow down and sit while she taught the class how to do work he had already finished we would give him other work to do. The next day I sent a packed of stapled blank pages, and he's allowed to do art whenever he is done with his work. He's done some amazing work, and the behavior problems have vanished completely. I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father knew exactly what Helaman needed when I had no idea.

The concept of starting over has been really good for him in many ways. Somehow that released him from the funk he had been in with other kids, and he immediately started making friends and playing at recess instead of sitting alone on the bench. He's like a new kid. So happy. And I can't explain how happy that makes me!

Meanwhile, his teacher is working on testing him to see how far advanced he really is from where he should be at the beginning of first grade and we'll make a plan from there. The principal tells me it's a nice problem to have. I hope he's right. And I know with Heavenly Father guiding me through this, life can be right for my boy.

I should also say that one day during all of this, I suddenly felt like it was really important to sign my boys up for flag football. One of the kids from Helaman's church class ended up being on his team, and it's made all the difference for him at church, too. They have started including him, and he feels like they like him now, and he belongs. What a difference two weeks can make!