Change is hardest when you're 6, I think

Obviously I have a lot of catching up to do, and I'll do one of those updatey posts I hope. But today I need to write down what's been happening with Helaman. Because it was such a hard thing; because I don't want to forget what I've learned; and most of all because I'm grateful for Divine Intervention.

The move to Folsom was a little rough for my guys, but in May we moved again when we closed on a house we bought here in Yuba City. And then it got really rough. The boys missed their friends from both places, and were having a rough time making friends with new ones here. Helaman did a bunch of fun classes through the rec department that he loved, including lego and art classes. But still didn't make any friends. I thought it would get better when school started, but it didn't.

By the time school finally began Helaman was in a funk. He was fine at home with us, but hated going to church, and felt really lonely. And still stressed from so much changed in such a short amount of time. Then once he got to school he was okay for the first couple weeks, but as routine settled in, he got more and more bored. There wasn't anything they were learning in first grade that he didn't already know. The slow pace of teaching other kids things that were already clear to him was really getting to him, and he started acting out. I think to entertain himself. He was never doing anything really bad, just distracting and crazy.

One day I got a call from his teacher after school. They just didn't know what to do with him. He wasn't being "send to the principal's office" bad, but nothing seemed to be working. He'd stop whatever distracting thing he was doing when you asked him to, but there was always something else coming. (It reminded me of Please Don't Eat the Daisies). The next day I got a call from the Vice Principal. Helaman had been in his office 3 times already that day. By the time I went to pick him it up it was 6 times in one day!

I have to pause here to say the school was great. When I was talking to teachers and administrators through all of this, no one was ever angry, and everyone was just trying to figure out how to best help Helaman.

Okay, so back to my story. After talking to Mr. Mogenheimer (the VP) after school that day with me, Helaman came home and spent the afternoon picking up buckets of rocks in the back yard and went straight to bed after homework and dinner. I didn't yell at him, but I figured he had to know that this wasn't okay in our family. And then I started fasting. I felt so overwhelmed, and confused, and lost. I had no idea what to do next.

On the way to school the next morning, I felt like I needed to tell Helaman it was a new day, and we could pretend yesterday just didn't happen and start all over. It was a new beginning. His face lit up at the idea, he looked like such a burden had been lifted. I have to say I know that feeling!

The VP was in his classroom observing the next two days. The first day after the terrible horrible no good very bad day he was better but still jittery. I went to meet with Mr. M. before school got out that day to talk about what he had seen and what we do from here. And as I talked to him, not because of anything he said, and not from my own genius, I suddenly knew what we had to do.

When school was out I went to talk to Mrs. Torres. We decided that instead of trying to make Helaman slow down and sit while she taught the class how to do work he had already finished we would give him other work to do. The next day I sent a packed of stapled blank pages, and he's allowed to do art whenever he is done with his work. He's done some amazing work, and the behavior problems have vanished completely. I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father knew exactly what Helaman needed when I had no idea.

The concept of starting over has been really good for him in many ways. Somehow that released him from the funk he had been in with other kids, and he immediately started making friends and playing at recess instead of sitting alone on the bench. He's like a new kid. So happy. And I can't explain how happy that makes me!

Meanwhile, his teacher is working on testing him to see how far advanced he really is from where he should be at the beginning of first grade and we'll make a plan from there. The principal tells me it's a nice problem to have. I hope he's right. And I know with Heavenly Father guiding me through this, life can be right for my boy.

I should also say that one day during all of this, I suddenly felt like it was really important to sign my boys up for flag football. One of the kids from Helaman's church class ended up being on his team, and it's made all the difference for him at church, too. They have started including him, and he feels like they like him now, and he belongs. What a difference two weeks can make!

Changes

It's been a little while since my last entry. Well, it's been a big while since my last entry. Like a whole different life ago at this point. I could try to catch, up, maybe I'll do a highlights post (for my own ocd sanity!) but for now, I think I'd better just go on from where we are.

So where are we? Well, for the next three months we are in Folsom living in temporary housing provided by Aerojet (aka a pretty small, but hey it's free so whose complaining, apartment). We haven't lived in an apartment since right after college, and it's not as glamorous as Curious George makes it look on t.v. Especially when you happen to get the apartment right underneath the magical one where people turn into elephants upon entry. Really. Good thing Helaman figured out what was going on, because we were really befuddled by all the noise before he figured out the elephant scenario. Now it makes perfect sense.

But I digress and get ahead of myself at the same time. Let me back up. Why are we where we are?

A couple of months ago Omar applied for a job at Aerojet here in the Sacramento area. He had worked here before going to China Lake, and just happened to look late one night and saw and opening. We didn't hear anything for months, and had forgotten the whole thing when they called with an offer that was too good to resist. Well, actually, we decided to resist and then when we prayed about it the Good Lord once again got the pleasure of telling the two of us (who truly think we are smarter than anyone else in the world) that it was a nice try but we had chosen wrong once more. So Omar took the job and was given a start date that was two weeks away! He barely had time to give notice at China Lake before he was off.

The boys and I stayed behind and let Helaman finish the last week of school before vacation and then came and stayed with Omar and his mom's house in Gridley for a little more than a week. Then Omar came back to Ridgecrest with us for a few days during Aerojets year end shut down. And then he was gone again. The plan was that the boys and I would stay in Ridgecrest and wait for the house to sell, but having our family split up just never felt right. We having wonderful families who offered to let us stay with them, and we were so grateful for the offer, but decided we needed to have our own family together. So we moved into temporary housing for three months here in Folsom.

We'll be here for three months, and then? Well, that's our life lately, not quite sure what is coming next. But we have faith that as long as we keep praying and following His counsel we'll be okay and in the right place wherever that is whenever that is. Our house is still for sale in Ridgecrest, most of our stuff in storage, and we are settling happily (most of the time) into a smaller simpler life for now.

Although we definitely miss our friends, and our ward, and our house.

Speaking of houses, anybody need a house?

Billy & Llael

At the end of May Billy and Llael came and played with us for a few days. We had so much fun with them, it was sad when they had to go. We did lots of site seeing, hanging out, and enjoying each other. They were here for Helaman's final gymnastics performance (since he quit) and his last day of preschool party. Billy brought his digeridoo and the boys absolutely loved it; and Jelly is just Jelly and you can never have enough of that. :) I wish we were closer to our family, we love them so much!
(If you mouse over the pictures there is a tiny description of most of them--if you are interested.)

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Spring Soccer

Helaman wanted to play soccer again in the Spring instead of giving baseball a try. His team was the Racers, and he had a great time. It was a hard team because many of the parents weren't very committed, so we almost never had a full team. But the kids who were there worked really hard and had fun. Helaman was really improved by the end of the season. He is a great dribbler and is really starting to understand the game. We were really proud of him. Although the game were he was playing goalie was late and hot. He did block, but in between his mind was anywhere but in the game. Mom needs to learn to keep quite on the side-line when she's not coaching she's been told.

Mr. Isaiah Anything-You-Can-Do-I-Can-Do-Better Valle was convinced that he was also a Racer, and wasn't very understanding about not being able to practice and play with the big kids. But he still had a lot of fun this soccer season because his friend Logan's sister was on our team and they got to play at all the games and practices. They were super cute together--they are both very active and talkative and play really well. It was a great season and the boys are already excited about Fall. (Well, the little boys, dad likes having his life back. :) )

Grandma's Birthday

With all the fun we had, the real reason for our April trip to Gridley was to celebrate the 90th birthday of one of the most amazing people I know, my Grandma Ruth. If you know her, you know she was embarrassed to be the center of so much attention, and but in the end she loved it. All of my cousins (minus my brother Billy) were able to be there (some as a surprise). We haven't all be together in a long time now, and it was so wonderful to all be together again. Growing up we were such a huge part of each others lives, and every time I look back at the pictures it makes me miss them all again. Grandma even had a nephew come from Canada, and I know that meant a lot to her. She loves us all so much we can't help loving her back. She's like that with everyone, but I think she saves the best of it for her family.

I've though a lot about what makes everyone love Ruthie so much. I think it's a couple of things. For one things she is totally genuine. She loves life, and lives it to the fullest. She always has, from playing sports, to being dragged on shopping trips with Jeanie to traveling the world. And her joy at the world is contagious and makes you feel more alive when you are around here. Like your braver and stronger because she is.

And she really is brave. She left so much to move to Gridley and farm with my Grandpa. Her family, religion, and country. Not unlike the Biblical Ruth she was named after. It wasn't easy, but she embraced her new family and religion with all her heart, so that to a Carlin, she is not a in-law, but a loved family member. She loves the States (and Canada, still!) and even became a citizen. And she has been a rock from the moment the Holy Ghost confirmed the truthfulness of the gospel to her, never-wavering and constantly serving the Lord she loves. She is just as much a heroine as the Ruth in the Bible her father named her after.

But most of all, I think it's her capacity to love. When you talk to Grandma, you feel like what you are saying is the most important thing in the world to her. She appreciates the good in people, and makes you feel so good about the good she sees in you. If you need something Grandma can help you with, you never have to wonder if she would be willing to help. There is no question she would, that's who she is. And she never complains about it. (Note to self...)

And I know she really listens when people talk because I am amazed about the details she remembers about people's families and lives. She worries about them, and rejoices with them in all the details. I am always amazed by her capacity to love.

I'm sure I'm forgetting something. Let's just say, I really love my Grandma and I hope to be much more like her before I'm done "growing-up."

More Gridley Fun

April found us back in Gridley for my Grandma's 90th birthday party, it was a huge, fun event, and deserves it's own post. But we had tons of other fun while we were there as well!

We got to read books with Grandma and Ava.


Helaman made this hopscotch all by himself on Grandma's front sidewalk. He did a great job, even writing all the numbers without any help.


Meanwhile Isaiah was having a lot of fun filling up the wagon in Grandma's drinking fountain and taking it around to water her yard.


We went to visit Bompa Luis at work out on the farm, and Isaiah was insistent that he needed gear just like Grandpa's (hat and gloves). He looked so hilarious.


And then we got to check out the pigs


And drive the tractors



And go for a trailer ride.


I think Helaman really misses being a country boy when he's there. Although he seems to be a pretty happy desert rat, too, so maybe he's just happy wherever he is. :)

Whenever we go to Grandma Ruth's house these two have a lot of dangerous looking fun on her exercise machine. They are so crazy.


And they always love playing with Ava. I really miss that little munchkin. I wish we were a lot closer to our 2 little cousins.




Helaman's three favorite things are VW Bugs, PT Cruisers, and, randomly, turtles and tortoises. So when we were home Grandma arranged a special treat with a friend in her ward. After Church on Sunday our friend Merna, who owns a PT Cruiser came over and let Grandma give Helaman a ride in the PT Cruiser. He was so excited, he could hardly believe it was real. What a funny guy!


Isaiah had a lot of fun at Grandma Elsa's one afternoon with everyone's cameras. He was so funny taking pictures so seriously. Some of them actually turned out pretty good. He thinks he's so big, and is completely convinced there is nothing he can't do. I'm always impressed by his stubborn determination.


And his guns he loves so much he sleeps with them clutched in his hands like a lovey. Omar says he gets it from his Uncle Joe. Thanks Joe.


And my favorite part of the trip was hiking to the waterfall on table mountain. We used to go every year, and the wildflowers are so beautiful. I have so much fun spending time with my family. I was sad Omar didn't get to go with us, he waited and came later that week with his brother. We've been going up there every year since before we even had monkeys.


Yesterday I was trying to explain to Isaiah that Grandpa Steve was my dad. He got VERY angry because it was his Grandpa Steve and he didn't want to share.










We had so much fun with everyone. Thanks for letting us come play with you!

Easter

Easter was pretty low-key. We had a blast dying eggs with the boys the night before. It was General Conference weekend, so we stayed home and enjoyed hearing from our Prophet.

Our good friend, Steven, came over to help daddy (and the Easter Bunny) hide eggs.

And then we hunted for the eggs. The boys were too excited to hold still for a good picture. After the hunt we came in and ate eggs. And to this day Isaiah complains to be about how Steven ate his "painted eggs." I'm pretty sure he still loves him anyway.

We spent a lot of time this Easter talking with the boys about the meaning of it all. Isaiah gave a great FHE lesson on the resurrection (with a little help) and we tried to really focus on it all month. I am so grateful for my Savior, Jesus Christ and His amazing atonement and resurrection. I know that He lives and that we will all be resurrected some day because of his sacrifice for us. I pray that I can live my life to show him my love and gratitude for all He's given me.