Ridgecrest

It looks like we will probably be moving to Ridgecrest sometime in the next couple of months. We won't get a start date until Omar actually graduates and NAVAIR gets his transcripts, so the world is still pretty up in the air.

And for everyone I told I would never move to the desert, I'm okay with it now. All other plans have either not worked out, or just not felt right for our family. We feel like the Lord is directing us here, so here we go.

The job at China Lake is hard to beat, and we'll be okay as long as we're together. It's only about 6 hours away, so we can drive home in a morning. It will be a new adventure.

And on the plus side, there are no skies like desert skies.

Peek-a-boo

When I put Isaiah to bed tonight, I laid him down and put the blanket on him. He gave his, I am about to be funny eyebrows, and then pulled it over his head, and down again, in a perfect peek-a-boo.

He was so funny, he even did it some more for daddy when he came in to see. He is such a ham, he loves it when people think he is funny, and will do anything for a laugh.

I can't believe he's really big enough to play peek-a-boo. Time goes so fast when you have a baby.

This picture was him playing with his car tonight. He loves cars. He sits and pushes them around for hours. It's the easiest way to keep him happy. Especially when he gets his hands on Helaman's cars.

Is he really this big?

Trauma

Helaman was playing barefoot at Grandma Maggie's yesterday and got a huge splinter in his foot on the front porch. He limped around all day, and I tried to get it out, but I knew it was going to be a two-person job. When Omar got home, he tried for a bit, but Helaman wasn't having it. It had gotten a little bit infected by this point, and so even the slightest touch was painful.

Daddy moved to a new tactic, and said that he was going to go into the pit to work under him like a mechanic. Which worked, Helaman was happy, until he actually touched it, and then that was no good again.

So we moved to another tactic, we told him if he would be very brave and hold still, it would be over very quickly and then we would have some ice cream. (Since he didn't want what we were having for dinner, this was probably his only hope of getting some of the sweet stuff.)

That was incentive for one touch, but that was all he lasted on the ice-cream promise.

Omar is very protective and soft-hearted and really didn't want to just pin him down. So, we had to think of another tactic. I had already explained that it had to come out, or it would turn into a much bigger owie called an infection. I thought maybe some visual aids would help, so I found this picture online.



Helaman loved this picture. He just wanted to look at it and look at it. He was fascinated. Maybe we have a doctor on our hands. Anyway, that helped him understand the seriousness of getting it out, so he tried really really hard to be brave. He sat as still as he could, with the tears welling in his eyes, squeezing my finger. But in the end, it was too much. He couldn't take it.

For any of you parents out there, I'm sure you know how this story ended, we had to pin him down and just do it. It was over very quickly, but I am pretty sure it broke Omar's heart. The splinter was huge. Helaman was excited to take a picture of it to show everyone. So, here it is:



And here's a happy, bandaged Helaman (taken with no flash-oops).



Who of course still got the ice-cream.



I was letting him play around with my camera after ice-cream, and he took this picture of himself. I don't know why, I think it looks cools, so I'll finish with his self-portrait.



And for the record, he was very very brave.

Hiking Feather Falls

Michael, Tara, & Ava had so much fun hiking Feather Falls last weekend, my mom and I and our friend Cynthia decided to give it a go. Omar volunteered to watch the boys, but because we were going to be gone so long I decided it was probably better to take Isaiah with me. Tara let me borrow her backpack, and we were on our way.

The hike was beautiful! I didn't realize how lush the foothills really are. It reminded me a lot of Washington. There was even moss growing on the trees. There were lots of beautiful wildflowers (My mom had to stop and take pictures of each one) as well.

It felt good to go so much exercise and enjoy the nature. Some of the views are very awe-inspiring, and God is definitely in the mountains. I had a religion teacher at BYU say that God uses mountains when there is no temple available, and I believe it.

Isaiah was a really good boy for almost the whole hike. He slept a lot of the way in to the falls, and part of the way out. For the last 2.5 miles he was done being in the backpack, though. So grandma and I took turns carrying him the rest of the way out.



Cynthia, Mom, and I finally at the falls.



Isaiah being carried out the last few miles.

Today's Funny Stories

Tara had this picture of Ava and her cousin on her blog. Isaiah loves to chew on Ava's hands, so I left a comment about how Ava must have tasty hands because babies seems to like to eat them, or something silly like that. Especially silly since the baby in the picture was MY SON! She came over today and I asked her who the baby was in the picture.

In my defense, I still don't think it looks like him. Ha ha ha, I guess that's not much of a defense! What mother doesn't recognize her own baby? Apparently, this one.

The other funny story of the day happened tonight at bedtime. When I was playing around with Helaman getting his pajamas on, he grabbed my hand and asked what my wedding ring was. I told him that it was my wedding ring and it meant that I was married to daddy.

He got his feelings hurt, and said, "Then how am I going to marry you?" (He's been planning on that for a while now.) I told him I had some bad news about that, that because I had married daddy in the temple we would be married forever, so I wasn't going to be able to marry him. "Then who am I going to marry?" he asked with great concern.

We started naming girls that he knows, and offering them as possible future brides. He responded with, "How about Greta." I said that wasn't going to work because she was his aunt, so he thought Avery would maybe be a good alternative. We named a couple of more girls, and then he snuggled up to me, laid his head on my shoulder, and said, "Or...how about, I will marry you?"

Who could resist such a proposal? Of course, I said o.k. :)

Fighting Fires

Helaman went to the fire station for playschool on Tuesday. He was so excited. When we got there, they were even lifting the ladder up on the ladder truck. ("That's not the fire engine, that's the ladder truck," I was told by the three-year-old firefighter expert in the back seat...)

The next day he was playing fireman with the hat they made at preschool and my vacuum hoses. He loves to get out all the different hoses and put them together to make a big long hose. Today he was using the hose hooked to the shopvac, and the shopvac was the fire hydrant.

He was really excited to take this picture so we could show Aunt Cari his hat. I told him I would put it on his web site so she could see, and then I showed him how that worked. He was thrilled with the idea of a bigger audience for his theatrics.

On an unrelated but crazy note, when I was touching this picture up in Photoshop, the thumbnail in the corner caught my eye. When the picture is a little blurry, look how much Helaman looks like a three-year-old Michael (or Billy - okay, they did look a little alike :) ).

Mexican Baby

We're trying to get Isaiah to sleep in his own bed right now. This tends to involve a lot of screaming. That in itself is not funny, until he starts doing the "rolling his rrrrrrr's" screaming. He just rattles that tongue of his, and I can't help but laugh. Aunt Llael would be proud, she's been trying really hard to teach Helaman to do that.

This picture is from our picture shoot at the Picture People last week. He was such a good boy for the whole thing. And luckily he thinks mommy is really funny (and who can blame him, she is so funny!), so it wasn't too hard to get him to smile, too.

The end of the tunnel

Late last night I took the first step in closing my web design business. I emailed all my clients and let them known we were moving and I wouldn't be doing this anymore. I still have a lot of work pending, and it will be a lot of work getting everyone moved over to there new designers, but we are definitely approaching the end of this particular tunnel.

In a way it was a huge relief. It was getting harder and harder to do the work I needed to and be the mommy I wanted to. It was hard to find the time, and emotional energy, and non-sleep deprived concentration. And then when I would start feeling overwhelmed, I would get stressed out and become mean mommy.

It's also really sad. I have loved working with my clients, be creative and helping people build their organizations and businesses. I loved the interaction, and learning new things, and creating. I will miss all of that.

It was such a blessing for me to learn everything I have over the last few years. I really love design. I know it was the hand of the Lord that got me into it, what with my Sociology degree and all. :) It's been a huge blessing for our family the last few years, too.

But, right now, being a mommy is the most important thing. Omar is working enough now, and full time soon, that we don't need the money to survive. So we decided that it was time to let it go and let me focus on being nice mommy more often.

Times they are a-changing!

The Fruits

An article in Meridian Magazine really got me thinking this morning. It started with:

When you consider Jesus' comment, “By their fruits ye shall know them” (Matthew 7:20), do you ever ask yourself, “What are the fruits of my life?” I do. I ask what fruits I want to bring forth. What fruits do I want to be known for?

The author had her answers to the questions, but it really made me think about mine. What are my motivations? What's important to me? What do I want to accomplish? What do I want to be known for? My mind went to my family first, more specifically to my kids. At first I thought I want to be known for raising righteous sons to the Lord. But then I realized that I can't really say that. While I can influence their righteous choices, my fruits can't depend on their agency. I needed to rethink that idea. What could I accomplish?

• I want to love my children, and do my level best to teach them the gospel and make my home a place where they can feel the Spirit.

Articulating the goal makes me want to do so much better; to be more patient, and loving, to testify more, and to do more to keep the things that drive the Spirit away out of my home.

The second thing I thought of was my own Spiritual growth. The author of the article said the fruit she wanted was the peace of mind that comes from knowing the Savior. That is a wonderful thought. I kept thinking about all the things that go into that, and the time I want to spend every day getting to know him. I always have great plans for my personal scripture study, the hours I want to spend studying and praying. :) Somehow things don't really seem to work that way. But something later in the article helped me articulate the fruit that I was thinking of.

• I want to always remember Him.

I know I already promise to do this, but life gets so busy, and it seems like I forget. When I remember to focus whatever I'm doing on Him, I do feel His peace in my life. I still need to work on training my mind to come back to Christ, to keep him in the forefront of my thoughts and heart all of the time. I know I can dedicate even the mundane details of my life to him, and find joy and peace in say, picking up with Helaman for the 500th time in a day. That's the fruit I want. A life always focused on Him.

Thinking about the fruits as what I want to be known for really gave pause. When I'm being completely honest with myself, I want to be known for being smart and funny. I want to be known as a person who is reliable, and the person who gets things done. I want to be known for being cheerful and upbeat. For being brave. For being helpful. Perfect, actually, would be great. It's hard to separate what is just being prideful, from what are really good goals. I know it's all in my intent, to serve God or be cool myself, but it's hard for me to tell.

I think what it really all comes down to in the end there's a simple way to state what it is I want to be known for.

• I want to be known for being good.

Well, that's a lot to think about....

Chris

This is Chris in the middle of his haircut. It got better, I promise! But this was too good.

Sleeping Babies

Omar left for school early this morning to study for a test. At quarter to seven my first visitor arrived, carrying his red blanket. He climbed in bed with me and quickly fell asleep.

An hour later the second baby woke up and I carried him into the warm blankets to nurse. He quickly fell asleep, too. I thought he was up for the morning, but I was mistaken. So here i was with two sleeping babies in my bed.

I wasn't going to sleep anymore, so I decided to just leave them there.  An hour later I heard Isaiah cooing. When I came in, they were both awake just laying there cuddling.

I was really proud of Helaman being such a sweet big brother!

Helaman's Favorites

Helaman was listing all of his favorite things for me at Taco Bell yesterday. So preserved for posterity, at 3 1/2, here are his favorite things:

• Song: "We Have Been Born"


• Color: Red


• Shape: Circle


• Number: 3


• Book: Sylvester and the Magic Pebble (this surprised me!)


• Story: Charlie Stories (these are stories Omar and I make up about a mouse named Charlie to tell him at bedtime)

And there you have it.

I loved this picture from the photo shoot we did at the Picture People. I couldn't afford to order one, maybe someday, but it makes me smile every time I look at it. He's so happy in this picture because the photo lady let him stand on the big box to take a picture. He gets these ideas in his head and just has to do certain things. That morning, the big box was the coolest thing he'd ever seen.

She also told him to put his thumbs out of his pockets, but got a, "No, this is how I do it!" instead. He thinks what he thinks!

Isaiah

I feel awful, Isaiah is over 6 months and I haven't written about him yet!

Isaiah is a sweet, happy baby. He is very happy, and thinks the world is very funny.

He's also very busy. He never stops moving. He was really tired last night, so he was being still in Grandma Maggie's arms and Grandpa thought there must be something wrong with him.

He sits by himself, and is working really hard on standing up right now. He's not quite crawling, but he does manage to move around my wriggling and twisting. I think he's getting close though, because he's getting his tummy up off of the floor.

He's also started eating Cheerios in the last couple of days. It's so funny when he gets them too far back in his palm and can't figure out what happened to them. He has a very determined personality. He works at something for a long time until he gets it. This morning when I was feed him breakfast he was getting disinterested, so I have him some Cheerios to practice on. He wasn't hungry any more, but he really wanted to practice putting them in his mouth. So he would work and work to pick one up and get it in his mouth, then spit it out once he got it in. He did several times, so I know it wasn't a fluke. He was cracking me up. He gets so excited when he hears the crinkle of the bag in the Cheerio box. :)

Isaiah loves to eat his toes. If you ever want to make him happy, take his socks off. As you can see from the picture, he loves to make a huge mess when he eats too, but I think that's pretty standard.

If his toes don't make him happy, sining Row, Row, Row Your Boat usually does. If that doesn't work, you're in big trouble. He loves that song!

Isaiah is also a sleep anywhere baby. Helaman usually only slept in his bed, but Isaiah sleeps when he's tired, no matter where you are or who is holding him. Which has been really nice in our crazy busy life right now.

Isaiah really loves his older brother, too. (If he's not right in his face...) He watches him like a hawk, and always wants to do whatever Helaman is doing.

I have so many cute pictures I've never posted, one of these days when I have more time maybe I'll just do a couple of picture posts. For now, I think I am going with the FlyLady, you are not behind, just jump in where you are and go from here...

Statements of Disbelief

We're Mormon. I was raised Mormon and Omar is a convert. My siblings were also raised Mormon, but a couple of them are struggling with that right now, which is really hard on my family. They say they don't believe the Church is true, that's their "Statement of Disbelief".

I'm not sure, however, that they realize what that necessarily means they are saying they DO believe. It's really easy to focus on the doubts and questions, and let that cloud what is good and we find to be true.

For example, if you say the Church is not true, you are also saying that you don't believe in Eternal Families or Eternal Marriage. That doctrine is unique to Mormonism, so if the Church isn't true, there is no such thing. But there is more to it than that, even.

• If the Church isn't true you believe either that Joseph Smith was a skilled conman or crazy.


• Okay, that may be easier to believe, it's far removed, but that also means that Gordon B. HInkley must have been a very talented liar, as well as our current prophet, Thomas S. Monson.


• It also means the Book of Mormon was crazily written in short amount of time with all kinds of details that Joseph Smith had to have guessed, that went against the current knowledge of the time and then have later proved to be true.


• Also, the doctrine that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are distinct individuals is Mormon only doctrine, so that's out, too.

And maybe they really are ready to make these positive statements of belief, but I doubt it.

I don't have a perfect knowledge about all things. Do any of us? I have to go on faith a lot of the time. But there is so much I DO believe, that I'm sure enough of that I can't let go of them. And then helps me through the times I have questions.

I do believe in Eternal Families. I believe that Joseph Smith was a good man, telling the truth, and that he was a Prophet of God. And the same goes for Gordon B. Hinkley and Thomas S. Monson, now. I believe the Book of Mormon is divine, and truly the Word of God. I find the things in that book to be good, and they bring me closer to Christ, they make me a better person, and they bring me peace. That can't have come from a big scam. I believe the church is truly God's church. I've found that be living my life that way, I find happiness.

And for the record, I've always found my questions answered eventually. It's often after the trial of my faith, but the answers are there. For the more historical or philosophical questions, I've found the FAIR wiki to be a wonderful resource. Other answers have come from conference, or the scriptures, even my sweet husband sometimes.

If any of you are not ready to get into the fringe stuff, but just want to know more about these unique Mormon doctrines, please check out mormon.org.

General Conference

I know that General Conference is always wonderful. I know it's full of answers and inspiration. I know that. But it isn't always that way for me. It's no ones fault but my own. Sometimes I just let myself get too distracted, or sleepy, or busy. Sometimes I'm just not ready to listen. Sometimes it's just time for a really great nap. But not this time. The Lord has been working hard on humbling me lately, and this conference I was ready to listen.

I love being a mom. I love my boys, and I wouldn't trade them or my time with them for anything. But lately I've felt very overwhelmed. It probably has a lot to do with Isaiah not sleeping much so I'm really tired. And Helaman is getting older and wiser and needs new things from me that I'm just learning. But it's more than that, too. I've been feeling the responsibility of being the one in charge of meeting all their needs, physical & spiritual & emotional... I've suddenly recognized the huge job that lies ahead, I've measured myself, and found myself lacking. I need to be so many things for them, and I do my best everyday, but sometimes I really struggle feeling equal to the task.

The Lord has been humbling me in other ways as well. We're getting close to Omar's graduation and we still haven't decided what life looks like after the end of May. Every time we think we know what job he is going to take and where we are going to live and all that good stuff, things change, the world gets more confusing, and we still find ourselves unsure. Life is an awfully big adventure. We've both been learning to turn stuff over the Lord and stop believing we can control the universe. I really thought I could before.... Anyway, more humbling.

And so, in this time of change and uncertainty about so many things, conference this time found me ready to be inspired. And this is what I got out of conference this April:

1. The Lord really does know me. Within the first moments of conference, specific questions we've had about how to teach and help our boys were answered. Talk after talk seemed to address the very questions I hadn't even known how to ask, even in my prayers.


2. I'm not doing as bad as I thought. Sunday afternoon the boys were done being quiet and listening to men in suits on the t.v. So Helaman was playing games on my mom's computer and kept needing my help. Then Isaiah woke up and was feeling needy and then he had a huge (and awful) poop. At this point, you can imagine how much I was listening to the men in suits. Frustrated, and feeling guilty about the not listening, I carried Isaiah's diaper out to the garbage. As I was thinking about feeling guilty, I received a strong witness not to worry so much. Changing diapers and helping my three year-old was the better part I needed to choose right then. To everything there is a season, and that is the season we are in, and the season the Lord wants us to be in. When I walked in from the garbage it was time for Elder Ballard's talk. I know a lot of mom's felt like God was talking straight to them that afternoon, and I was sure one of them.


3. There are lots of things I need to do better. Two specifically that stood out strongly to me were that I needed to be at helping find the lost sheep. Both through visiting teaching and missionary work. To this end, I followed Elder Bednar's advice to take action in my faith and bought a box of Book of Mormon's to give a way. I also started this blog. (I haven't given any away yet, and I haven't written much, but it's progress). I also felt like I needed to stop being so critical. I'm working on that, too. And someday when I'm 50 and you meet me, hopefully you'll think I'm a very kind person. :)


4. I really felt the Spirit witness that President Monson is a true and living prophet of God. What a blessing to live in a time when there are prophets on the earth again.

I'm so grateful that the Lord saw fit to get my humble and ready for conference this year. Hopefully by October I can choose to be humble and not need to be compelled!

Opening my mouth

I've been feeling prompted to follow Elder Ballard's invitation to open our mouths. So, here's my first baby step; I've opened my mouth. Now the trick is actually saying something now that I'm standing here catching the wind with my mouth wide open. That will be the next step. :)

For now, the thing to do is go to sleep I think.

Funny Stories

Helaman has always loved our basket. It used to be his hot air balloon. Then for a couple of months, all the blankets would get thrown out so he could sit in his "nest". As I would walk by he would say, "Hi, momma bird." To which I was supposed to respond, "Hi, my baby bird." He pinched his finger between the basket and the table one day, and that was the end of the nest... and I miss having a baby bird. :)

Helaman and Isaiah are already becoming friends, and they love to play together. Lately Helaman has wanted to hop in the crib with Isaiah when he wakes up from his nap, and they play together for a while. Helaman is a ham. He loves it when people think he's being funny, and Isaiah thinks he's hilarious and the greatest thing since, well, milk, I guess, in his case. They crack me up.

We went to Bremerton, Washington last month because Omar had a second interview at the Naval Ship Yard there. We rode the ferry to Seattle, and Helaman loved it. He couldn't believe he went on plane and a boat and a train all within those very excited three days.

While we were crossing Puget Sound I was pointing everything out to Helaman, like seals, and sail boats, and buoys. He got a little confused, though. On the way back across that evening he kept asking, "Mom, where's the abuoy?" I had a hard time explaining that it was a buoy, not an abuoy. He was so funny.

Helaman also loved the space needle. When he got back, he couldn't stop talking about every detail about our trip up the needle. Will he remember when he grows up that he was there once? Maybe when he sees the pictures! But, we were glad he had a fun trip. Everything is much more fun when your kids are having fun. It's exciting to see the world through their eyes. (Try to ignore the fact that we're all a little dirty here, the showers in our hotel broke that morning... if you're ever going to Bremerton for some unknown reason, ask me where not to stay.)