General Conference

I know that General Conference is always wonderful. I know it's full of answers and inspiration. I know that. But it isn't always that way for me. It's no ones fault but my own. Sometimes I just let myself get too distracted, or sleepy, or busy. Sometimes I'm just not ready to listen. Sometimes it's just time for a really great nap. But not this time. The Lord has been working hard on humbling me lately, and this conference I was ready to listen.

I love being a mom. I love my boys, and I wouldn't trade them or my time with them for anything. But lately I've felt very overwhelmed. It probably has a lot to do with Isaiah not sleeping much so I'm really tired. And Helaman is getting older and wiser and needs new things from me that I'm just learning. But it's more than that, too. I've been feeling the responsibility of being the one in charge of meeting all their needs, physical & spiritual & emotional... I've suddenly recognized the huge job that lies ahead, I've measured myself, and found myself lacking. I need to be so many things for them, and I do my best everyday, but sometimes I really struggle feeling equal to the task.

The Lord has been humbling me in other ways as well. We're getting close to Omar's graduation and we still haven't decided what life looks like after the end of May. Every time we think we know what job he is going to take and where we are going to live and all that good stuff, things change, the world gets more confusing, and we still find ourselves unsure. Life is an awfully big adventure. We've both been learning to turn stuff over the Lord and stop believing we can control the universe. I really thought I could before.... Anyway, more humbling.

And so, in this time of change and uncertainty about so many things, conference this time found me ready to be inspired. And this is what I got out of conference this April:

1. The Lord really does know me. Within the first moments of conference, specific questions we've had about how to teach and help our boys were answered. Talk after talk seemed to address the very questions I hadn't even known how to ask, even in my prayers.


2. I'm not doing as bad as I thought. Sunday afternoon the boys were done being quiet and listening to men in suits on the t.v. So Helaman was playing games on my mom's computer and kept needing my help. Then Isaiah woke up and was feeling needy and then he had a huge (and awful) poop. At this point, you can imagine how much I was listening to the men in suits. Frustrated, and feeling guilty about the not listening, I carried Isaiah's diaper out to the garbage. As I was thinking about feeling guilty, I received a strong witness not to worry so much. Changing diapers and helping my three year-old was the better part I needed to choose right then. To everything there is a season, and that is the season we are in, and the season the Lord wants us to be in. When I walked in from the garbage it was time for Elder Ballard's talk. I know a lot of mom's felt like God was talking straight to them that afternoon, and I was sure one of them.


3. There are lots of things I need to do better. Two specifically that stood out strongly to me were that I needed to be at helping find the lost sheep. Both through visiting teaching and missionary work. To this end, I followed Elder Bednar's advice to take action in my faith and bought a box of Book of Mormon's to give a way. I also started this blog. (I haven't given any away yet, and I haven't written much, but it's progress). I also felt like I needed to stop being so critical. I'm working on that, too. And someday when I'm 50 and you meet me, hopefully you'll think I'm a very kind person. :)


4. I really felt the Spirit witness that President Monson is a true and living prophet of God. What a blessing to live in a time when there are prophets on the earth again.

I'm so grateful that the Lord saw fit to get my humble and ready for conference this year. Hopefully by October I can choose to be humble and not need to be compelled!